deucebowl:

If I were a magic wizard I wouldn’t harm people when they pissed me off, I’d just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants, or every time someone said the word Thursday they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds.

(via voldemorts--nose)

ambisinistrous-and-asinine:

starkid challenge - nine characters [9/9] draco malfoy

You must be Harry Potter, the famous bastard. My name is Draco Malfoy. I am a racist. I despise gingers and Mudbloods. I hate Gryffindor House and my parents work for the man that killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend?

(Source: jaimelynnbeatty, via voldemorts--nose)

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

3-2-1queer:

When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”

YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you

(Source: iseeavoice, via itseasytoremember)

dick-luver:

casual reminder that cartoonnetwork never gave a fuck

(Source: forever90s, via mrs-hamst3r)

hoaran:

btw at dinner tn my mom said harry styles looks like a monkey and my brother looked her in the eyes and said “these meatballs are shitty and youre fucking rude” 

(via whatscraicen)

spookymormon:

spookymormon:

my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great

(via jennifertheroux)

basisforcomparison:

i love this.

(Source: hiphophead37, via stickit-0ut)

(Source: 1800killmyself, via lanadeltacoh)

sneezing baby omg

(Source: onlylolgifs, via typical)

aesthetic-dissonance:

sagihairius:

My mom just informed me that my first word was “quote” so I’m going to make sure my last word before I die will be “unquote”

you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity

(via bulimiasux)

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